Grandma-a-Go-Go

How does a nice little old lady come to know "the hidden secrets of the upper hand"? Well, if she's anything at all like Stanley Elkin's unflappable Mrs. Ted Bliss (Dalkey Archive Press, $14.95), she gets out - out of her condo, out of her fears, out of her mind even - and about the wild world. Be it via Cadillac with mobsters or dune buggy with the slippery sort, she gets out. And then she gets out some more.

Mrs Ted BlissYes, trading the Windy City for the Sunshine State is Mrs. Ted Bliss, one of the engaging Mr. Elkin's more inscrutable creations. Ted's dead ("olov hasholem") but the widow Bliss is just beginning to bloom. And boy does Grandma go-go. Shedding the spoilsports of her vertical pasture-land (The Towers), she first crashes the party life of some Latin playboys, where tough and shiny gentlemen thugs just so happen to take kindly, if suspiciously, to elderly strangers. Then she even dares - the horror! - the chicanery of some fly-by-trend recreational therapeusisist (sic). From both wise guy and quack she learns not what to do but how to be. Digging on the "sudden impressions" and "bolts from the blue," Mrs. Bliss next goes for the gusto and lets some chance encounter with dear dead Ted's ("olov hasholem") ex-best friend lead her on the ride of her very long life. Oh, and in between the action, the damn AARP chick manages even to - get this - come of age.

No fooling.

But to deem this tale simply an Augie March for the Geritol set would diminish much of the grace with which it was rendered. To be sure, Elkin - who sadly died in '95 - was a graceful word warrior. Thirty five years the wise curmudgeon of Washington University was just the flipside of a career that spanned 10 novels and 7 collections of shorter works (dig Pieces of Soap), much of it from the wheelchair MS had nerve enough to place him in. But don't think for a minute that malady got the man down, if anything Elkin's eventual physical confinement allowed his mind to go where few minds had gone before, to a place where people know things more than facts. 'Twas an insight and keenness deftly imparted on his final heroine, Mrs. Ted Bliss.

So, if you've yet to discover Elkin, start here, and the next time you see a nice little old lady, mind your manners. Not so much out of respect for your elders (you should have that already), but because that nice little old lady just might be able to tell you what it would've taken 50 years to tell yourself. That is, what gives. Then again, if you're reading this you probably hate little old ladies and couldn't care less about what they may or may not have to say. Read Mrs. Ted Bliss and change your mind about things.

Note: This article was first published online in the now defunct Bully Magazine. Supplied with immense thanks to Ken Wohlrob.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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