Velvet Underground: So cute --
and it stings like the dickens

By Lesley Abravanel

www.miamiherald.com - Published: Friday, September 22, 2006

It's rare that South Beach hotspots ever really give anything away other than, perhaps, a complex to those who are rejected at their doors, or a burning desire to be seen in boldface print alongside a picture of, say, Lindsay Lohan or Paris Hilton.

This time, however, Snatch and Suite may fulfill that dream tenfold thanks to a clever little promo beginning on Saturday and continuing until Sept. 30, in which women lucky enough to breach the velvet barriers will receive a free, miniature and of course fashionable pepper spray called Pepperface, which has already been endorsed by (read: given to) the likes of Lohan, Kelly Ripa and Gabrielle Union. The spray, which retails for $35-$350, comes in a two-ounce lipstick-case-like cylinder adorned with Swarovski crystals, though those are reserved for celebs who may pop by the club during this giveaway. Us regular girls will receive the unadorned version, the Purple Palm Defender, which is still quite fetching. Before guys freak out, worried they'll be sprayed for using offending pickup lines, women will receive the case sans pepper spray; the self defense mechanism will arrive by mail. According to Pepperface founder Mladen Djankovic, ''Now being fashionable can save your life. We don't want this to be a trend. It is trendy, but it's not going to come and go.'' Hopefully the lucky recipients won't find themselves in need of refills anytime soon.

It's always important to be aware of your surroundings, especially when they're unusually cool, such as the Conscious Collective's hipster infested Residence parties that pay homage to classic dance and soulful house. On Saturday, the party will provide much needed props to the urban nightlife phenomena historically referred to as juke joints or speakeasies. Host and hepcat John Hood promises an urban retro experience with music by Chilly, DJ Peace, DJ Chris and Djinji Brown featuring special guest artist Saidou Ba Camara playing his Guinea Blues. The party, at 74 NE 17th St., starts at midnight, and if you e-mail the password found at www.residenceparty.com, you and a guest will get in free.

If you're still longing for that ever-elusive plus-one in your life, consider the event Saturday at Glass in honor of, we jest you not, National Singles Week, Sept. 17-23. Apparently a website that promises men of only a certain tax bracket, Wealthymen.com, along with Webdate.com will be throwing a singles party called Flirt, where guests will meet some of Miami's most eligible singles from 10 p.m.-midnight. If you don't find the one, at least there are free martinis and champagne. Oh, and a live webcam to record all the tender moments. If you have no luck there, there's a similar event called Social Crush at Social Miami, same night, free ''Social Crush'' cocktails from 9 to 11, different crop of eligibles.

If the sound of singles waxing eligible isn't exactly music to your ears, perhaps the sound of scratching wax is more soothing. Michael Capponi's Saturday night party at Mansion continues to pack 'em in, and the club's DJ series doesn't exactly hurt either, unless you consider the interminable lines and hefty cover charges painful. Fans of certain DJs really don't care about that. They'd wait from here to eternity like they did last week when DJs Gabriel and Dresden took over the turntables, which they'll likely do again on Saturday, when superstar DJ Erick Morillo spins.

Turning heads on the Biscayne corridor is Karma, 7010 Biscayne Blvd., the coolest car wash since, well, nothing, where you can get your car washed and waxed, and also hang out, sip some hard-to-find microbrews and munch on delicious tapas -- all until about 1 in the morning. In addition to the very industrial-chic indoor space, there's a surprisingly inviting outdoor patio that turns the gritty Boulevard into your best friend's backyard.

We were there on a Saturday afternoon where we ran into Ink's Laurent Bourgade, who took the opportunity while his car was getting detailed to give us the heads up on all of Ink's upcoming events, such as tonight's party there hosted by Entourage's Adrian Grenier. Ink, for those who haven't been yet, is at 717 Washington Ave. In addition to getting caught up on clubland gossip at Karma, we also noticed that the place is a potential hotbed for singles. While Karma may not be giving away Swarovski-dotted tubes of Turtle Wax just yet, this could be the most innovative -- and refreshing -- spot in town.

Lesley will answer your questions about Miami nightlife -- whenever she wakes up. Go to MiamiHerald.com and click on Q&A.